When the Glucose is a Little Too Sweet…

#thatbabybumpthough

So here I sit at my OB office trying my hardest not to upchuck while foaming at the mouth and unsuccessfully trying to convince myself that my hands aren’t shaking, just so I can keep my thoughts straight and type this.

Today is my dreaded 2 hour fasting glucose test at almost 29 weeks. Thankfully they are having me do one single, middle of the road, test instead of the 1 hour and then 3 hour testing. Just three blood draws total!! I’m not sure I would make it out of all that alive. I must say that getting myself so worked up for this seems to be quite the waste of time as I have yet to die, but lets give it some time before we draw our final conclusion, okay?

Fasting since 8 o’clock last night and only sleeping for about 3 hours has left me in a pretty undesirable mood. Just ask my husband…. Who, according to my bad attitude; doesn’t drive right, talks too loud, breathes a little too heavy, bothers strangers with his non-stop talking, and looks at me fondly a little too much for my liking. But in all seriousness, I am very thankful that he was able to bring me today and is here to support me. I can’t imagine doing this alone!

Now apart from the obvious reasons for not wanting to do this test, let us not forget that I had gastric bypass surgery in January 2017 and have not been able to stomach much of any sugar since. The fact that I could even choke that 75g of flat High-C tasting glucose crap down makes me feel like a champ and I did it in less than 2 minutes, so go me! I should get some kind of gold star for even attempting this. I mean, if I can make it through that hard part I must be a supermom, huh? I’ll revisit that sentiment later…

As I try to bide my time with things that I need to catch up on, like replying to emails/working on my baby shower/trying not to pass out or projectile vomit on the nice pregnant woman across from me, I am reminded of the fact that this parasitic wiggle worm in my stomach hasn’t eaten for about 14 hours and I can think of little else. Would they really know if I were to sneak a tiny snack? Like a couple bites of granola bar, a few tangy fruit snacks, or a venti Iced Starbucks Gingerbread Latte? Okay, that last one might be a little too much, but come on. How do they expect Corbin or myself not to parish from lack of sustenance over this starvation period?!

The only saving grace is the fact that I will soon be taken back for my second anatomy scan, and hopefully Corbin isn’t stubborn today so I finally get to see him after no sonograms since December. While most days this pregnancy is extremely confusing and a serious mind warp for me, I always feel really good when I get to hear his heartbeat and see his little alien face. But seriously, I can’t believe that I have a life growing inside of me!

*Update* I survived everything and should know in a couple days if my body has failed me. I attached below the best 4D picture of little #CorbinScottTeague that we could get. He was definitely in a sugar coma, holding one leg up in front of his face with one hand on his forehead like “Dang Mom, I’m trying to sleep and you are squishing me!” He’s growing right on schedule and they got to see all the chambers of his heart that he was hiding last time. We got the thumbs up and I am now moving to every other week visits with monthly sonograms until this boy decides to join us. Where has the time gone?

Looking like his daddy!

My patient husband took me for a Whopper and some fries as soon as we left the appointment and then I proceeded to take a 2 hour nap. I am really surprised at how I physically handled everything, but this just goes to show you how extremely different everyone is. According to some of the other #wlsmoms who clearly know everything, “DON’T EVEN ATTEMPT THE FASTING GLUCOSE TESTING, YOU WILL MOST LIKELY KILL YOURSELF OR YOUR BABY! SERIOUSLY, IT HAPPENED TO A COUSIN OF A FRIEND OF A FRIEND OF MINE.” “WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO PUT YOURSELF THROUGH THAT WHEN YOU COULD JUST STICK YOURSELF FOUR TIMES A DAY TO ENSURE THAT YOU DON’T ACCIDENTALLY SHIT YOUR PANTS?” The sarcasm is so flipping real, ladies and gentleman, and for what? 4 hours of my day spent in an OB office, only feeling sick for about half an hour, and then getting a much needed nap??? My whole Tuesday was clearly ruined. *rolls eyes*

My final conclusion from today’s events… Damn I rock and bring on this baby already!

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